Yes, it’s that time of the month again when you expect to read here some amusing or informative column on this spot.
Not this time, I’m afraid. Because this time I want – no, I NEED to warn you.

For what, I hear you asking. Well, I think that is quite obvious; the avocado.

The avocado, sometimes known as the alligator pear, despite its harmless appearance, is a very dangerous creature. Actually, it is more dangerous than the white shark. Every year in the USA alone, approximately 150.000 people die of avocado attacks or avocado overdoses.

Wait a minute

Yes, you read that right – avocado attacks.
Because even though avocado was domesticated in Central America around 5000 years ago, many of them still live in the wild. And numbers are growing. They are nowadays even spotted in Europe and Asia. So they are expanding their habitat – and therefore hunting grounds.

Avocados, as everyone knows, live and hunt in packs of ten to twenty individuals. And they are known for their relentless, cruel nature. Once they have their eye on a prey, this poor creature hardly ever escapes. In most observed cases, the victim is shredded alive by the hungry, bloodthirsty pack.

The oldest known victim ( the first, but certainly not the last) of such a ferocious attack was found at an archeological excavation in Peru, where the remains of a young boy, that died some 3000-3500 years ago, who was found with an avocado pit beside his body – this pit, probably lost by the merciless hunting avocado during the attack, provided clear evidence who exactly was responsible for the kids’ demise.

Even though everybody knows that avocado is a threat to humans, many people still have them hanging around their homes. Some even keep them as beloved pets and let them play with their children. They do so in the belief that wild animals (like avocados) can be tamed. But even though an avocado can admittedly seem friendly, even harmless, the ugly truth is, it is still a predator. And predators can not be trusted. Ever!

Wait another minute

Some people believe that, despite the overwhelming amount of evidence that says otherwise, an avocado can be kept safely in the house, because Animal Protection activists have made up this myth about avocados, which is (in short) that the avocado has lived side by side with humans for thousands of years, and most of them never have killed a human. Or so they say…but is that true? Official statistics beg to differ. Here you have a horrifying fact; of all the people who encountered, or unwittingly came into contact with an avocado between 1589 (the year when people started to keep records, after countless unexplained murders) and 1805, no one is still alive today. Not a single one! The numbers are as staggering as they are frightening; the death toll is more than 100%!!! If that doesn’t alarm you, I don’t know what will…

How you may ask, can I protect myself and my family against this deadly creature? You could start by not allowing an avocado in or around your home. This would, of course, be the most logical solution; better safe than sorry. But if you insist on having one (or more, if you want to live on the wild side), you might consider using Penja peppers. Because research from several renowned universities worldwide indicates that avocados do not like Penja peppers. It even seems they are quite allergic to them.
So buying Penja peppers is a good start if you love your family.

So don’t forget; as far as modern science goes, Penja peppers are the only thing that effectively can prevent unprovoked avocado attacks!!!

The AHA moment

PS- someone informed me I may have confused avocados with hyenas. But I find that very hard to believe, to be honest- hyenas are most definitely not allergic to Penja peppers…hahahahaha 

Here you can find recipes with avocado.